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<title>Not Anymore by my-vampires-keeper (RainbowVamp)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24955957">Not Anymore</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowVamp/pseuds/my-vampires-keeper'>my-vampires-keeper (RainbowVamp)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Vampire Diaries (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Temporary Character Death, These are barely mentioned but I had to warn for it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:42:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>782</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24955957</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowVamp/pseuds/my-vampires-keeper</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Damon almost lets your sister die to save your life. You aren't sure you can be with him after that.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Damon Salvatore/Original Female Character(s), Damon Salvatore/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Not Anymore</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Please don’t leave me. I’m a work in progress, but I’m trying.” Damon took your hand before you could walk out the door, but you refused to turn around and look him in those blue eyes that had betrayed you so many times.</p>
<p>“I want to believe you’re trying, Damon.” Tears prickled at the back of your eyes and you sucked your teeth trying to hold in a sob. “But you killed my brother. You almost got my sister killed. I just can’t forgive it anymore.” </p>
<p>He doesn’t let go of your hand. He tries to pull you closer, but you hold fast, your new vampire strength the only thing letting you stand your ground.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry about that. I told you I was sorry.”</p>
<p>“But you did it again. You said you were sorry after Jeremy and then you almost let Elena die.”</p>
<p>“I thought you were going to die!” </p>
<p>You shook your head. “I’m already dead, Damon. I’m a vampire. Elena is still alive, she’s got her whole life in front of her, and you almost let her die.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t though!”</p>
<p>“No,” You finally turn, the tears running down your face. “You made the choice to take a chance, and I just can’t live like that, wondering if you’re going to let her die for me. I can’t.”</p>
<p>“So next time I’ll be better. Don’t go.” He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest and just like you were afraid they would, his blue eyes drew you into their depths and left you drowning in the riptide. </p>
<p>“I can’t.” You whimper, your voice breaking, and he leans his head down against your forehead, glancing his lips over your cheek as he speaks.</p>
<p>“Please. One more chance.”</p>
<p>“It’s always one more chance, Damon.” You close your eyes as the tears start to pour out, and you bite your lip to hold back a sob that still manages to break free.</p>
<p>“Please.” </p>
<p>His lips brush yours, his breath a ghost of memory, of every perfect kiss and whispered promise. </p>
<p>Your silence presses in on you both as he waits for your answer. You aren’t sure what you’re going to say yourself until a soft noise passes between your lips, barely a word, nearly soundless.</p>
<p>“Okay.” </p>
<p>He doesn’t kiss you. You’re glad he doesn’t because you don’t want him to taste the salt on your lips from the tears. </p>
<p>“Thank you.” His nose brushes yours and your tear falls onto him. You let your arms circle his shoulders and he pulls you into a hug, pressing your tear streaked face against his chest. The soft tee-shirt is so familiar, so comfortable, and despite yourself, you lean into it. He picks you up, wraps your legs around his waist so he can vamp speed you both to the couch. He sits down with you in his lap and lets you hold him, hang onto him like some tragic, paralyzed koala. Your fingers claw at his shoulders and clutch him to you. </p>
<p>You aren’t sure how long you sit there, holding him, crying. He kisses your temple and rubs your back and lets you take a minute to collect yourself.</p>
<p>“I love you.” It’s not the first time he’s said it, but he doesn’t say it often, so  you treasure the sound. “I’m sorry. I’m trying, and I’m going to keep trying. Just don’t give up on me yet.”</p>
<p>A new wave of tears comes and you hide your face in his shoulder, letting his shirt soak them up. You aren’t sure how long this truce will last. Maybe a week, maybe another year, but you don’t want to think about it right now. You pull away, eyes still red and glassy with tears, and look him in the eyes.</p>
<p>“Kiss me.” You whisper, and he does, a soft brush of his plush lips against yours, feather light and warm. He kisses you again, longer, harder, and you rock forward, tilting his head up to reach you. “Take me to bed.”</p>
<p>He obliges you, like he always does, and the sex doesn’t fix anything, but it lets you feel close to each other, connects you again the way nothing else ever has. It’s temporary, even as you lay sweaty and sated in each other’s arms. You let him kiss you, kiss him back, let him tell you things will be different, but you don’t believe him, not deep down.</p>
<p>You let him whisper “I love you,” again, and you parrot him. It’s not a lie, not really, but it doesn’t feel like the truth.</p>
<p>You say, “I love you,” even while you wait for him to hurt you again.</p>
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